pete said when the dna test came back we would talk about our relationship and future but we haven't. we are moving in 5 weeks back to the apartments so i guess we are staying together but i dont even know if i'm his girlfriend. i know i want to be with him and get married and have a family but i have no idea what he's thinking or how he feels. kayleigh keeps growing and she's getting so strong. i spend most of my day feeding her and playing with her and trying to comfort her. the dr said he thinks she has reflux and thats why she's in so much pain. i haven't been on here in awhile because i came down with mastitus. since i was in the hospital petes been helping a lot more with kayleigh. she's been getting more formula because my supply went down being sick and now i'm struggling to get it back up. its hard cuz i got sick the same time she hit a growth spurt. mom is irritating me so i gotta go.
we just got back from the doctors. kayleigh is 22 inches and 9 1/2 pounds. she got her 2nd hep b shot. i know a lot of people who start breastfeeding quit by this time and most people i know quit because it hurts. for those of u who are pregnant or not but u want to breastfeed later i would encourage you to try a nipple shield. i've been breastfeeding for over a month and never had any pain, cracking, soreness, or bleeding.some lactation consultants advise against them but i say whatever keeps you breastfeeding is best. it helps with a bad latch too... its impossible for her to latch improperly. if someone would have told me that from the beginning i would have choose to breastfeed when she was born instead of 3 days old. i was afraid of the pain everyone always talks about. and a nipple shield cost 5 dollars tops... formula cost... 11 dollars a can? its expensive. the hard thing about continuing to breastfeed past a month is that once they get a growth spurt it's like starting from the beginning. they need more milk so for a couple days you have to put them to the breast almost constantly because you go from 2-3 oz to 4-5 so to get the supply first they have to demand. that's what i'm going through now. it's exhausting... so much that i gave her a little bit (1 oz!) of formula last night because i was so tired and couldn't trade her from breast to breast anymore. anyways last night she was up for a long time at around 1 but she was cooing and smiling and being so cute i didn't even mind it so much. we need to choose another kind of birth control. i'm thinking of the IUD. but i heard it can cause infertility which is not okay. i got the shot in the hospital which last 3 months but there is no way in hell i'm doing that again. they put it in your hip! kayleigh says its nap time.
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
kayleigh has been smiling a lot lately =) she's so adorable. pete just got back dna results and of course he's the dad so we will see if that changes anything. hopefully it does because i want her to have both her parents together and i love him so much. having a baby makes you realize how much your parents love you and why they do the things they do. the moment she's born you are just overwhelmed with love and it just burst out of you it's insane how much you can love one person. there are so many things i never thought i would do (breastfeeding, co-sleeping...) that i'm doing now because it's better for her. i dont remember how to post pictures on here. someone want to explain?
I don't know what to do with Kayleigh. Anytime she's not nursing she cries. No she's not hungry because when I put her to my breast she doesn't eat...she just wants the comfort of it. I think she's hurting. I don't know if it's gas...it doesn't seem to be. I read online it could be a milk allergy so I'm cutting all cow milk out of my diet and going soy (ew I know). I just hate to see her cry. She didn't sleep all day yesterday which is not at all normal and just cried and nursed all day. Pete wanted to take her to the hospital but I'm afraid we are going to go and get a bunch of bills we cant pay just for them to tell us she's colicy. Do you guys think I should take her to the hospital? Did anyone elses babies do this? Anyone else breastfeeding? I'm so tired and stressed I'm not even sure this makes sense because when I read it over it didn't make sense to me... =/
Kayleigh was born on January 5th. I've been so busy taking care of her I've had no time for anything else. I wish I had more help. My house is a disaster. I'm constantly changing because she keeps peeing on me...even if i wait a little to change her diaper. She is up most the night just being fussy but I still love every minute of it. Its so weird being a mom. I have a lot of big decisions that need to be made soon. I need to decide if we are going to go into housing or if I will stay with Pete. I honestly don't see a way for the Pete thing to work out. All I know is at the end of the day I'm a good mother and did everything I could for my daughter. And it sucks for other people who cant say that.
